My body is heavy this Advent
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My body is heavy this Advent.
Mary of Nazareth’s body was heavy
too, or so we imagine in Advent.
She is often shown so
young and beautiful, demure and obedient,
glowing
though that may be the halo more than the pregnancy.
If we have ever met a real live pregnant woman, we might more realistically imagine
the lumbered steps,
swollen ankles,
short fuses
In the spring, this is how I imagined my Advent: the glowing, the beauty,
and too
the weight,
the exhaustion.
but with my hand to my belly
I feel no movement, no kicking or dancing or shifting
I am empty